


Don't ever go

by ClaraCivry (Kat_Of_Dresden)



Category: Guardians of the Galaxy (Movies), Guardians of the Galaxy - All Media Types
Genre: Fever, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Hurt/Comfort, Hope you like!, Hurt/Comfort, Mentions of Nightmares, Minor Gamora/Peter Quill, Movie Spoilers, POST gotg vol 2, Sick Character, Sick Peter, Spoilers, bit of whump too, but spoilers so don't read if you haven't seen, cuteness, guardians of the galaxy vol. 2 spoilers, has spoilers you've been warned, mentions of deaths, that said
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-30
Updated: 2017-04-30
Packaged: 2018-10-26 00:36:07
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,319
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10775799
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kat_Of_Dresden/pseuds/ClaraCivry
Summary: Post-Gotg vol 2Peter is haunted by what he has lost.He gets sick, and while in a fever he opens up. Fluff and hurt/comfort.





	Don't ever go

It haunted him.  
Specially at night, but more and more often during the days too. Losing people was part of him, clearly. He lost his father before he was even born, but hadn't been too bad, because he had his mum and his music and a couple of decent friends. But still, it stung. 

Then he lost his mum and everything was much worse, because he saw her die and that image was stuck in his head, it became part of him, of his personality. That one loss that changed her life completely made him stranded. Practically alone in an extremely unkind universe in which he had to do impossible things just to stay alive. Being held together by faint memories and cassette tapes. It wasn't the easiest life, but he managed to make it. 

And then Ego happened, and he lost even more. He watched death with his very own eyes again and suddenly, all those deaths seemed to be because of him. He saw Yondu die in front of him, giving him the one space suit they had. He learned that his real father had deliberately killed his mother and then he died, too. Sure, that one was one was on purpose, but still. He watched all of them die. And they all haunted him. 

His mother was the ghost of a family and a home he felt he could never have, the easiest love, the most hopeful view of everything, snatched too soon. His father represented the horrors he could grow to be, the dangers of excessive self-esteem of too big an ambition that killed everything else but oneself. And Yondu was mistakes, regrets, bad choices, hurt. They were all part of him in a way, they were all who made him who he was. 

And all dead. In front of him. He didn't want to, he tried to avoid dark thoughts, but those deaths replayed in his head over and over again, specially his mum's (that he would remember until he died) and now Yondu... All of his childhood, all of his younger years were gone, and he only had some songs to remember them by. It hurt to even think about, and it kept piling up... His armour, who had always been a bit frail since he saw his mum pass had now even more cracked. 

Of course he tried to keep it together for his friends. They didn't have to know about that, specially knowing that there wasn't much they could do. Sure, comforting words could be helpful, but they didn't erase decades-long traumas, and didn't make nightmares disappear (because yes, his nightmares had doubled, maybe even tripled since that last...incident), so he tried to keep being his usual positive never-stop-joking persona, even if now they all knew him too well to buy the act. It was simply too difficult for him to open up, too painful to bring up both the old wounds and the new ones. 

Until that one time he did open up without even noticing, without even being aware of it. Because he got sick.

A stupid gash he had in the stomach and got in a fight with some giant space-whale like creature got infected, and he pretended he was okay for along time, continuig with his life as if nothing was happening (they had bigger problems than his stupid injury, he was not a weakling, and besides he'd had much worse than that and had made it so there was no reason to complain). He ignored the the sudden cold that took over him, the nausea, how tired he was and how much more effort than usual everything needed. He ignored it all and hoped it would go away on its own, until one day when everything was sorted out and they were walking back to the ship and his knees buckled and he found himself on the floor, unable to get up as all his limbs fell too heavy and he felt drained of any strength. 

He'd been stretched too thin in that last mission, and now that they were out of immediate danger, he was paying the price. The concerned faces of his teammates appeared suddenly in his field of vision. He wanted to get up, tell them not to worry, but couldn't. 

"I am Groot?"

"I don't know, Groot." Rocket answered, concerned. "But he doesn't look too good."

There was a cool green hand on his forehead, and Peter wished it would stay forever. 

"He's burning up." Gamora said, sadly taking away her hand. "Let's put him in a bed, see how bad it is. He needs to be in lying down."

Drax picked him up with little effort and suddenly the world was floating and Peter's vision was fading around the edges. Sometimes (more often than it was probably healthy, perhaps) he dreamed that it would be like this, his end: surrounded by friends and being the first one, not having to watch any of them go. All of them would be okay, forever, in his mind. It was pleasant thought, albeit a gloomy one. 

He was suddenly on something soft, hearing bits and pieces of a conversation. SOmeone was angry with him, telling him the he should have said, and that damn it Quill, so could have been killed pulling an stunt like that. But he didn't want to pay attention anymore, he was too tired, and his eyes were closing... and there was someone poking at his wound and he was back from the dead, wincing loudly despite himself. 

There was more hushed talk, and he thought he heard the ship getting started, but couldn't know. His fever addled brain had trouble processing information in that moment. But there someone there, bu his bed. They put a wet cloth on his warm forehead and were looking at him with warm eyes, even if they were still a bit angry. Peter tried to focus, figured out who it was. 

"Gamora?"

"It's me."

Good, there was something he needed to say, and his sick mind decided that he needed to say it now, before it was too late for either of them. He was probably just delirious but right now, it seemed like the most important thing in the whole universe, in all the universes. 

"Don't go."

"I wasn't leaving."

"No.. I mean... Ever. You can't ever leave, like... No. You need to be forever, you understand me? That... can't happen to you. I can't see it, I wouldn't bear it."

"Peter..."

"Promise me, Gamora, promise you won't go."

"You want me to promise you never to die? I can't do that."

There was a sorrowful expression in Peter's too pale face, and Gamora immediately changed her words, to soften it a bit. 

"But I'll do absolutely all that its in my power, which is a lot, and you know that, to stay with you for a very very long time."

Peter half-smiled. 

"That... that is good. You... thank you.. I... yes..."

"But it goes both ways, all right, Peter? You can't leave me either, you can't go. Ever. So no more hiding injuries, no more pretending everything is okay when it isn't. We need you whole, Star-Lord."

Ignoring herself and all her self-constructed boundaries she climbed in the bed and lay on that narrow bed, facing her friend, someone who had become so important lately.

There was a lot of hidden sorrow in those eyes, inner demons that rarely came to the surface. So much pain. So many ghosts hiding in the shadows of his mind. So much horror he'd seen, etched forever in his memories. Sometimes she wished she was better with affection, to help him carry those burdens. But for now, maybe her company, her being there would be enough. 

"I'm here, Peter." she said, as she caressed the warm pale face of her friend. "I'm here with you."

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you liked it! Thanks for reading!
> 
> Feedback means the galaxy ;) to this little sad overworked author


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